Missing Seth

Missing Seth

I haven’t blogged in a while. At first I was blaming it on being busy, but it’s not true. Then my world was shaken. Violently. My dearly beloved nephew, only twenty years old, was struck and killed by a train on June 12. I’ve never experienced anything so painful. I’m trying to hold it together, but he’s in my thoughts constantly. You see, I was mad at him. He wasn’t doing the right thing, ya’ll. He was on the wrong path. But he was a good soul. He was kind and loving. His death has left us in shock and left me longing to understand: why? My brother and his wife are hurting so badly. I can barely look at my sweet brother without crying. My nephew was an only child, one they had tried for years to conceive. This road they must now travel, without him, is full of hurt, loss, and bewilderment. How can I begin to help them through this pain? I am in a constant state of prayer as I try to understand Gods plan for our family.

If you have a loved one who is hard to love, or if you find yourself having difficulty forgiving someone, especially a family member, seek help. Don’t stay angry at anyone. Love them anyway. That is what they need. Try to reach out to them. I would give anything to tell him I love him one more time, for him to walk in and say it was all a mistake. None of us are perfect, and we never know when we will be called Home. Give yourself the peace of knowing that you have shown your love to this person, because they deserve it. So do you. 

I love you, Seth. Forever.

  
 

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We are so blessed.

We are so blessed.

I was watching my baby daughter, Georgia, snooze away this chilly afternoon while I begrudgingly went through bills. My husband is our only source of income, so we are always looking for ways to save. With six kiddos, however, it ain’t easy. Everyday my mind races with thoughts of returning to work, taking a class or some kind of hustle. Then one kiss from my sweet babe wipes all those thoughts from my crammed mind. My time with her is a gift, and I shall cherish it. For she will grow up and away, and work will always be there. My older children are growing faster than I can stand it. I can only try to hold on to the memory of their childhoods while they run furiously towards adulthood. My oldest graduates this year, and it’s been one of the most proud/painful periods in my life. It’s a bittersweet feeling. If baby Georgia had not been born fifteen months ago, I would be working full time right now for sure. But my Heavenly Father had another plan for me, for us. I must trust Him always. 

Blessings…